Paris Hilton has been called a lot of things.  For example, Lost star  Dominic Monaghan says she’s - how do I sum this up - hungry for publicity.  Talk about stating the obvious.  But the former hobbit didn’t rail on her looks (like a guy who can play a hobbit has anything to say about what’s ugly).

But Paris has reportedly won an “Ugly” (as in ugly advertising) award for her work in a burger ad.  I’m not sure how that was ugly.  It just shows that she was hungry, if not for burgers, for publicity.  As for her looks?  Well, you decide.

Paris Hilton has made a career of doing the impossible.  For starters, she took a poorly shot home video and turned it into a career.  Let’s see you pull that off.  Granted, she had the advantage of being born filthy rich, but I don’t see any other rich kids handling adversity the way Paris does.  She escapes problems that are largely her own making, and does it with style.

Here’s the latest list of her triumphs over death and defeat:

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1. It’s gettin’ hard out there for an Heiress:  Three 6 Mafia is reportedly recording with Paris Hilton.  Paris Hilton also up for a movie role as Mother Teresa (see number six).  No comments on what role she’s better suited for…
2. Someone recently called me a “Communist” because I don’t watch American Idol.  I think that was pretty harsh.  It’s not that I don’t like Idol.  It’s just that I’m so busy building statues of Lenin and organizing worker’s rallies and whatnot.  Thank goodness they watched so I didn’t have to.  I don’t want to give it away, but there was a big surprise on this show.  Apparently one of the karaoke singers was voted off!
3. Britney Sues: It’s getting hard out there for a South Korean pop star.  Well, at least for one who allegedly “partially plagiarized” a Britney Spears song that I’ve never heard.
4. Britney Gets Sued: In the same story, Britney getting sued for allegedly not paying people who worked for her.  That’s boring.
5. What’s not Boring:  The alleged sex tape case for Britney and Kevin is still on hold.  It seems that such a tape is mandatory publicity for any non-A-List or faded star.  Sigh.
6. People who understand this show are too busy having a life to sit around watching television: Arrested Development may be gone forever.

1. Pete Doherty, who I’ve never heard of, pleaded guilty to drug charges, then kicked a reporter.  What happened to the good old days, when rockers would just overdose and be done with it?  Well, just because he hasn’t, doesn’t mean he’s not trying…
2. Is it because she’s hot?  Grown woman has an affair with a 14-year-old and then walks free.  No reporters were kicked.  I just hope Entertainment Tonight doesn’t turn child molestation into celebrity this time.
3. Lesson in delayed gratification: A football players brother adds 4 1/2 years to his jail sentence because he didn’t report for jail.  Why was he late?  He wanted to see his brother play in the Super Bowl.  Oh, and the after-party with Snoop-Dogg.  What would you take in exchange for 54 months in prison?
4. Most celebrities really clean up their look to impress a court.  You know, little things, like combing.  Not Phill Spector. (See photo with story)
5. How is this news?  Sharon Stone says, “It’s pretty easy for me to be naked.”  Are you sure, Sharon?  I mean all of your roles so far, are well…  Darn, she sprained the part of my brain that does sarcasm.
6. Jessica Alba: Not nude for nobody, no way, no how.  Maybe she should steal the role for Mother Teresa from Paris Hilton?

New photos are in the Paris Hilton gallery.  There are even a couple with Nicky.  Don’t just sit there.  Click!

Attention, Paris Hilton.  Your 15 minutes have officially expired.

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1. Someone allegedly has one of the photo albums Paris left behind in a storage facility up for sale on eBay.  Bid as of writing this: $200.  I’m not sure how many copies of One Night in Paris that translates to.  Auction ends at Mar-19-06 20:22:35 PST.
2. She’s trying to get a $10 million lawsuit dropped, by taking the plantiff to dinner?
3. Not only was Paris banned from the Vanity Fair party, she’s been banned from future Elton John parties.  She wasn’t banned for wild behavior, though.  She allegedly didn’t make a donation to Elton’s charity.
4. People pay more attention to what you’re doing if you mention her:  Paris Hilton isn’t banned from The Simpsons, where she will voice a character in an upcoming episode.  That makes her about the one millionth celebrity to appear on the show.
5. Does that cast come in pink?  Paris Hilton has a broken toe? 
6. Shameless self promotion: Celebrity Wonk has a Paris Hilton Photo Gallery.

Paris Hilton’s celebrity started with a party, and it looks like the beginning of the end is starting with one as well.  In the midst of the post-Oscar feeding frenzy, there’s one story worth noting - Paris Hilton, the A-List party goer wasn’t invited to the party for the A-List.

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Paris Hilton must pack quite a punch.  I commented on this earlier, but now it’s official: Brian Quintana, a party planner, has gotten a restraining order against Paris Hilton signed by a judge.  Aside from the fact that a 37-year-old man is afraid of an underfed 25-year-old woman, there is one particularly odd exception in the order.

If the two are out in public, Hilton must stay at least 100 yards away from Quintana, but seeing as he’s a party planner, and she’s a noted party goer, Paris can come within 25 feet (close enough for Hilton to throw her glass of Hennessy) of Quintana.  It’s nice of Quintana to make an exception for Hilton’s party going ways, but my personal thought is that he thinks he can take her if she’s drunk.

The Carmen Electra photo gallery is now up.  Take a look and let me know what else you would like to see.

And while you’re here, check out Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, and Angelina Jolie.