Attention, Paris Hilton. Your 15 minutes have officially expired.
People in the know have known that your time was up, or at least limited for some time now. But like Texas Hold’em poker, your fame has lasted longer than some expected.
But when CNN reports that your time is up, baby, it’s up. People in the loop can think you are over, but they don’t go to Wal-Mart or eBay to buy your book or DVDs. The people who watch CNN do.
You make your living - a rather large living - by going to parties. But that led to some behaviors that got you banned from the Vanity Fair Oscar party. That would have been something one could recover from, but then you went and got banned from Elton’s parties as well. And just a quick note: if you want to keep attending cool parties, try to avoid restraining orders from party planners.
Now banning Paris Hilton is the cool thing to do. That’s a disasterous turn of events. You went from being the cool party girl who didn’t need to join the cheerleading squad to be popular to the loose girl who the boys didn’t want to be seen (in public) with. Your brand used to be one where people mocked you because they envied you. Now it’s one where people make money putting you down.
But don’t worry, all is not lost. You have gained more celebrity at a young age than most do in a lifetime. Besides the fact that your parents are rich, there’s plenty of non-sex-tape-related work in your future. In fact, I’m looking forward to watching you sitting between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Carrot Top on the bottom row of Hollywood Squares: 2025. It should look great on HDTV.