As the Olympics roll on, celebrities are being born and others are finding that they will only get 7 of their 15 minutes of fame. Never mind that people who can’t sing will outshine them anyway. Forget medal counts, here’s what really matters, the celebrity count, and the results might surprise you.
First, in the win column is someone who blew his shot at his first two medals - Bode Miller. His first loss was possibly blown by a late change of skis. His second was a disqualification due to some gate breach or another.
In spite of all that Nike has decided he was a star before the games began and runs Join Bode commercials every thirty seconds or so during the telecasts. He’s shown doing ordinary training drills that involve leaping tall buildings and lifting freight trains. With that much money and face time, he’ll stick around even if he blows two more medal shots.
And if Bode Miller fades from the public’s memory, he’ll just go back to living on squirrels and wild berries like he did growing up in Vermont. It’s probably not a bad life.
Another winner is someone who’s been to multiple Olympics but never won a gold medal - Michelle Kwan. It looks like Michelle Kwan landed a gig with Disney. She’s has that Asian-girl-next-door charm and will likely not mouth off about wearing her medal in the parade like Nancy Kerrigan did. Not bad for someone who’s the Buffalo Bills of figure skating
The loser so far is Johnny Weir. He has made such a spectacle of himself, that it was a relief when he missed the bus to his second event and blew a relatively solid shot at the podium. Much has been said about Johnny Weir’s style (read: sexuality) and behavior. But if you’re going to be the equivalent of a gay Dennis Rodman, you better perform on the ice. He didn’t, and will drop off the radar quickly.
Looking ahead, tonight is Lindsey Jacobellis‘ shot at stardom in the made-for-XBox sport of SBX. I think she has pretty good odds. After Weir’s screw up, I’m sure she’ll make the bus on time.
UPDATE (and possible spoiler): I really hope this isn’t true.