When one hears the phrase “lifetime achievement award,” one normally pictures some aged actor making his or her way to the podium slowly, to accept the award they should have gotten long ago.
Celebrity Wonk wants to change all that. For the first - ok, maybe only - Celebrity Wonk awards (The Wonkies), the Lifetime Achievement award for Celebrity Excellence goes to…
Paris Hilton
Paris Whitney Hilton doesn’t turn 25 until next month, but she has done more as a celebrity than most so-called celebrities do in a lifetime. Most children of the upper class would be content to live a life filled with parties, private planes and rich friends in anonymity, but not Paris Hilton. She chose to live a life filled with parties, private planes and rich friends in the full view of the world.
Paris made her way early in life to whatever parties she could find, with her sister Nikki usually right beside her. She managed to find her way onto whatever red carpet she could find, looking for the opportunity that would make her famous.
That opportunity came in the person of Rick Salomon. Together, Paris and Rick made a sex tape that would launch them, well her, into the stratosphere of celebrity. In spite of night vision footage that looks more like video of a covert operation in Iraq than a porn tape, Paris had managed to eclipse even Tommy and Pamela in the world of amateur video.
For average celebrities, that might constitute fifteen minutes of fame that would fade far faster than the images on the tape. But Paris is anything by average. She was determined to conquer the celebrity world. Since the tape appeared, she has:
- Had her cell phone “hacked” into.
- Appeared on another million or so red carpets.
- Gone to another million or so parties.
- Drank legally
- Gotten sued for slander.
- Allegedly urinated in the back of a cab.
- Been involved in a low-speed auto wreck.
- Had not one, but two Greek boyfriends.
- Gotten engaged to one of them.
- “Stared” in a “reality” TV show.
- Appeared in multiple movies.
- Appeared in at least one movie where she didn’t play herself.
- And much, much more.
The fact that one list can’t contain the fullness of her celebrity is why Paris Hilton is the winner of this year’s Lifetime Achievement Wonkie. May her next quarter century be just as filled with celebrity as the first!
hy’
we are a rock’n'roll band from Italy.
The band it’s called the wonkies!
It isn’t strange?
have a look at our page and listen our music.
We wanna be wonkies celebrities…
good luck man.
Comment by filippo ugliengo — March 17, 2006 @ 7:38 am
[...] But don’t worry, all is not lost. You have gained more celebrity at a young age than most do in a lifetime. Besides the fact that your parents are rich, there’s plenty of non-sex-tape-related work in your future. In fact, I’m looking forward to watching you sitting between Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Carrot Top on the bottom row of Hollywood Squares: 2025. It should look great on HDTV. [...]
Pingback by Celebrity Wonk » An Open Letter to Paris Hilton — May 14, 2006 @ 4:53 pm